Hi. My name is Patrick. -

And I’m a writer.

I write comedy and drama. I write taglines and loglines. I write thousand word essays and two-thousand word chapters. I write headlines. Funny lines. Sad lines. And sometimes– a lot of times– bad lines. (Sorry, I needed a rhyming word.)

I’ve been writing for 15 years and copywriting for 10. I’ve worked on giant household brand names and small startups. I write for the screen, the printed page, the TV, the movies, and for the web. And when all that’s done, I still sit at my desk and write for myself.

I’ve been published on several blogs, have owned a weekly column,  reached #1 on iTunes, and seen my name in the papers and journalists at my door. I believed Mark Twain when he said, “I like a good story, well told. Which is why sometimes I have to write them myself.” And I wish I was that arrogant, though I sometimes like to try:

MediaBistro said I was:


The Atlantic Wire said:


Jezebel called me:

“A white male.”

But I simply consider myself a guy with a thousand words in his head, a million ideas, and a passion to get them all written down.


About Give Me Back My Pen:

Although it’s had a few different faces, this site has been my home since 2010. Not only is it my portfolio site, but I post on the blog the things I find interesting, fun or inspirational. I update Script Tips with new writing articles as much as possible. And I try to update They Don’t Write Songs About Portland every other Friday. Snoop around, share your favorite articles, and I do enjoy a little respectful conversation on the blog.